I’ve been a little obsessive this week. This is apparently how I mourn when one of my favorite musicians of all time dies: I listen to their music. On repeat. Nonstop.
My Four Year Old Daughter: Daddy, is that a Prince song…again?
Me: Yes, sweetie, Daddy needs to listen to “Sometimes It Snows In April” one more time. (Nice tribute D’Angelo.)
Since Prince’s sudden death last week, I’ve thought a lot about his life and career. Then it hit me like a bucket of “Purple Rain”, we could all learn lessons from Prince’s life. Today, I’m going to share nine life lessons social workers can learn from how Prince styled his life.
Lesson 1: Create your own path
Prince style: Prince’s career was known for a lot of things: his music, his attitude, and his eccentric style. He was naturally influenced by musicians and artists who came before him, but he didn’t seek to copy anyone person.
Your style: Talk to other social workers and professionals whose lives and careers you respect. Resist the urge to try to follow exactly in their footsteps. It just doesn’t work. What does work, is taking the best parts from your mentors and influences.
Lesson 2: Develop more than one skill
Prince style: It didn’t matter the instrument: lead guitar, bass, drums, or piano, all were in Prince’s wheelhouse. On his first album For You, Prince played every instrument in each song.
Your style: You may not be a multi-talented musician, but you still need to have a variety of skills at your disposal. Be ready to “play” all of them at once when needed: be an active and empathic listener, a human Wikipedia of community-based resources, and a tireless advocate for your client.
Lesson 3: Advocate for yourself
Prince style: He famously (and legally) changed his name to a symbol a.k.a. The Artist Formerly Known as Prince. His reasons for the name change, in part, were to protest Warner Brothers unfair contract withholding the master copies of his music.
Your style: Social workers are charged to advocate for underserved and disenfranchised populations. But don’t forget about yourself. Example: If you think social workers are undervalued, disrespected, or underpaid… Do Something About It.
Lesson 4: Share some of your best stuff
Prince style: One of the most famous songs of the 1990s was Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares To You”, written by Prince. He didn’t keep that remarkable gem of a song to himself, he shared it and it benefited, even more, people.
Your style: Be as generous with your abilities. Your influence on the world moves beyond your circle of influence when you teach and share your talents. Teach and share with other social work colleagues where you are skilled, so that they may, in turn, help others.
Lesson 5: Find your confidence
Prince style: Prince may have been only 5’2” tall, but he wasn’t short on confidence. His strut was legendary.
Your style: Develop confidence in your skill as a social worker. Your opinion matters. Your perspective matters. Your professional judgment matters. Find your professional “strut” and own it.
Lesson 6: Stay connected
Prince style: Prince traveled the world playing his music, but always returned to his home base. Prince was born and died living in the great state of Minnesota. He was deeply connected with the residents there and the state loved him for it.
Your style: Whether you are living in the same place you grew up or you have moved off, stay connected with the people and community that helped shape who you are today. For example, go back and talk to students from your high school about how to become a rockstar social worker.
Lesson 7: Embrace diversity
Prince style: Prince could command a stage solo like few others. But he was perhaps at his best when collaborating with other musicians. He was intentional about having diverse bands, especially using female musicians. His concerts were no different. Old and young, black and white, gay and straight…people from all backgrounds came together for Prince.
Your style: Don’t be a lone wolf social worker. Find colleagues in other disciplines who share your perspective and passion for helping others. Identify ways to collaborate with those professionals.
Lesson 8: Find your “thing”
Prince style: Be known for something. It’s hard to see a deep purple color and not think of Prince.
He had his own color . . . who has their own color? He owns purple. – Jimmy Fallon
Your style: You may not be able to call dibs on a color of the rainbow, but you can brand yourself in other ways. For example, Brené Brown is known for her books and research on shame and vulnerability; that’s her thing. Find your “thing”and be known for it.
Lesson 9: Create a will
Prince style: As I’m writing this article, news outlets are reporting Prince neglected to create a will for his estate. (Jaw drops, face meets palm). This is what you would call a teachable moment.
Your Style: You may not have millions of dollars of assets like Prince, but you still need a plan for your stuff when you’re gone. A legal will isn’t about you, but rather the people that are left to sort through your affairs. Do them a favor.
Whether you are a fan of Prince’s music or not, you have to respect his creativity, boldness, and authenticity. His life and music clearly impacted many people, myself included. We may not make a Prince-sized impact on the world, but we can learn from his example in how we leave our own legacy. So dearly beloved social workers, let’s get through this thing called life together.
Have You Heard the “Suicide Prevention Anthem 1-800-273-8255”
National Suicide Prevention Month begins on September 1st, and MTV officially kicked off the awareness month with a performance of “1-800-273-8255” by Logic along with Khalid and Alessia Cara at the VMAs. The song’s title just happens to be the number to the National Suicide Prevention Hotline, and the performance also included a group of suicide attempt survivors who came on stage wearing shirts with the number to the suicide helpline.
The song begins from the perspective of someone who wants to die and feels there is no one there to care about what happens to them. The opening hook for the song states, “I don’t want to be alive, I just want to die today, I just want to die.” Some may take an issue with the beginning of the song, but it can not be understated the importance of identifying those feelings in order to seek help.
A recent study which included 32 children’s hospital across the United States revealed an alarming increase in self-harm and suicidality in children and teens ranges from ages 5 to 17 over the past decade. Also, the School of Social Work and Social Care at the University of Birmingham released a recent study stating, “Children and young people under-25 who become victims of cyberbullying are more than twice as likely to enact self-harm and attempt suicide than non-victims.”
The second hook starts with “I want you to be alive, You don’t gotta die today, You don’t gotta die.” The song moves from a place of darkness to a place of support. When someone expresses suicidal thoughts, it is critical to not dismiss their feelings or minimize the weight of the issues preventing them from wanting to live. The Center for Disease control list death by suicide as the number 1 cause of death in the 15-19 age group. According to the National Data on Campus Suicides, “1 in 12 college students have written down a suicide plan as a result of stresses related to school, work, relationships, social life, and still developing as a young adult.”
John Draper, Director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, in an interview talked about the impact the song is already having. Draper said: “The impact has been pretty extraordinary. On the day the song was released, we had the second-highest call volume in the history of our service. Overall, calls to the hotline are up roughly 33% from this time last year.” via CNN
“I finally want to be alive, I don’t want to die today, I don’t want to die” are the lyrics and the tone in which the songs end. Then, it leads into an incredibly woke statement by Logic, and here is a sample:
“I am here to fight for your equality because I believe that we are all born equal, but we are not treated equally at that is why we must fight!” – Logic VMAs
The trend for suicide deaths is on an upward climb. A 2015 study by the Center for Disease Control state there were twice as many suicides than homicides in the United States. It’s time we end the stigma and myths surrounding suicide attempt survivors “doing it for the attention.” Suicidal thoughts may be an ongoing struggle instead of a one-off event to prevent. In this case, we need to arm loved ones and at risk individuals with information as well as tools and resource to manage their mental health status.
Suicide Warning Signs
— SAMHSA (@samhsagov) August 28, 2017
Another useful resource is the Crisis Text Line in which users can send a text to a trained counselor and typically receive a response within 5 minutes. Texters can begin by texting “START to 741741” to get connected.
Mental Health providers and practitioners are always looking for ways to connect and reach those most at risk for suicidal and self-harming behaviors, and pop culture often has a direct connection to those who are the most vulnerable. Unfortunately, a recent study identified a link between 13 Reasons Why and suicidal thoughts in which it found “queries about suicide and how to commit suicide spiked in the show’s wake.”
However, unlike Netflix’s “13 Reasons Why“, this song is already showing that it will have the opposite effect by increasing queries and online searches about the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. If you have not seen this powerful VMA performance, I urge you to check it out.
What “Bachelor in Paradise” Can Teach Us About Working With Young Black Men
This season, the “Bachelor” franchise has taken on the topic of race relations in a fairly head-on fashion for mainstream television. For years, the series has been (aptly) criticized for featuring primarily White contestants.
After a season in which a Black woman was cast for the first time as the “Bachelorette,” the franchise’s summer follow-up series, “Bachelor in Paradise,” included several Black men and women in search of love. But let’s hone in on the story one man in particular, Demario Jackson.
Mr. Jackson, a Black man, joined the Mexico-based “Bachelor in Paradise” cast in hopes of finding a partner. As the television show is known for its sexual antics and hookup culture, it was no surprise when Mr. Jackson quickly became involved with Corinne Olympios, a White woman. The two met, flirted and over the course of a day of drinking, became sexually intimate.
All of this took place in public, with cameras rolling and with cast-mates walking by from time to time. The day after this incident, producers stopped the show as a third party had filed a complaint about Mr. Jackson’s behavior with Ms. Olympios vis-à-vis alcohol consumption and consent to sexual activities.
Ms. Olympios claimed that she did not remember any of the night due to her heavy drinking, but later, for a time, claimed that she was a victim of sexual assault (and had to endure the pain of “slut shaming” as well). Of the event, Mr. Jackson has stated “It was 100-percent consensual. She hopped in my arms, she pulled me into the pool…I think people wanted it to be something different. They wanted the angry Black guy and this little, innocent White girl. But it wasn’t.”
In the end, an external investigation (paid for by Warner Brothers) determined that no wrongdoing took place, and Mr. Jackson’s name was cleared. Unfortunately, this did not occur before the press reported on the incident in some very racially charged and unfair ways – but ways that are not unfamiliar to the Black community. So egregious was the coverage, that at least two of the White female contestants from “Bachelor in Paradise” decided to step up and defend Mr. Jackson’s honor, a refreshing change.
One of the silver linings of Mr. Jackson’s suffering is that our society has the opportunity to revisit longstanding stereotypes about the aggressiveness and/or sexuality of young Black men, especially as it relates to White women.
Helping professionals need to know that our country has a long and shameful history of portraying young Black men as sexual predators and/or perpetrators. Starting in the late 1900s, our country saw a rise racial tension that correlated with the number of lynchings of Black men.
In fact, between 1882 and 1968, there were 4,743 reported lynchings, 72.7 percent of which involved Black men. It is widely understood that these race-based lynchings were instigated by White people who felt the need to protect White women from Black men. This presumption has followed us to the present day, where many people believe that Black men rape White women more than White men do, something that has been shown to be false.
We must remember that the young Black men that we work with as social workers live with the spectre of history, and are often warned about interacting with White women during “the talk” with their parents. That is, the talk about what it is to live as a young Black man in the United States in an age where racism is alive and well.
Perhaps a father would tell the tale of Florida’s Rosewood massacre, in which many Black men died as a result of a White woman claiming that a Black man had assaulted her. Or perhaps a Black father may tell his son the story of 14 year-old Emmett Till, a young Black man accused of whistling at and making physical advances to a White woman in a candy store. Mr. Till was murdered as a result of his alleged actions – even though decades later, his accuser has admitted to making up the most damning part of her court testimony. The media treatment of DeMario Jackson felt no different to me than what Emmett Till faced.
So, how can we act on this as helping professionals working with young Black men? We are tasked with seeking social justice, but in the case of young Black men, we must also look inside ourselves for ways to promote racial justice. We must challenge ourselves to be aware of damaging stereotypes that may be held about young Black clients.
As helping professionals, we must be committed to reflective practice and be on the lookout for these stereotypes within ourselves as well as among others involved with the clients we work with. We must work to prevent such stereotypes from impacting the lives of the young Black men in schools, universities, community organizations and both the juvenile and criminal justice systems.
We need to do this anti-racism work as the social work profession has been accused of failing Black men many times before. For example, Dr. Waldo Johnson, Jr. addresses this failure in his book Social work with African American males: Health, mental health and social policy. In this text,
Dr. Johnson talks about how Black men suffer from being stereotyped as reckless (at best) and characterized as having a lifelong disregard for or commitment to society in general. While most Black men do not fit into this stereotype, it persists nonetheless, often as a result of media images.
In the post-Charlottesville era, it is vital for social workers – especially White social workers – to take a stand against the stereotyping of young Black men. This is especially important work to engage in given what we know about how White social workers may hold negative racial biases as a result of living in a society defined by White supremacy. It is time to stand up for racial justice in all of the settings we work in, let’s let DeMario Jackson’s ordeal make a difference for young Black men in the United States.
Need to Have Some Fun: How to Throw a Perfect Game of Thrones Party
Even though Winter is coming, the hit television series Game of Thrones still provides an awesome party theme. We all work hard and need to get away from the pressures of our everyday work load. Whether it’s a birthday or friendly get-together, here’s how to throw the perfect Game of Thrones party.
Place Every Partygoer in a House
- No Game of Thrones party is complete without some of the most well-known houses in attendance. Assign a house to every party attendant. Think carefully and try to match people to the houses that best suit them. However, be careful because some people might not take too kindly to being assigned certain houses such as Lannister or Florent.
Create Some Awesome Invitations
- Once assigning everyone a house, it’s time to create the invitations. Find a suitable medieval font online, type and print your invitations, then use some black tea bags (soaked in warm water) to give them an aged look. Finally, fold your invitations in order to seal them. Unfortunately, not everyone has hot wax and a signet ring available to complete the final step, but don’t worry because stickers or printed paper with a house seal on them will work just as well.
The Perfect Feast
- Normal party food is a huge no-no when it comes to throwing a Game of Thrones party. Instead, you should try your hardest to provide food that would be eaten in medieval times. This doesn’t mean you should look for some disgusting medieval dishes because the food still needs to be tasty. Games of Thrones party staples include hot pies and sausages; however, if you’re stuck for ideas, there are plenty of Game of Thrones recipe guides available both online and in book form for your reference.
Create A Game of Thrones Playlist
- Instead of creating a playlist filled with the latest big hits and party tunes, you should create a Game of Thrones playlist. Obviously, the playlist must include the official Game of Thrones theme song, but it should also include various pieces of medieval-style music.
Decorate Your House
- You can have so much fun decorating your house for a Game of Thrones theme party. Hang banners from the walls or use them as placemats or coasters. Printing out the official maps or making your own bunting are other good ideas.
Play Some Suitable Games
- There are plenty of games that you can play when throwing a Game of Thrones party. A Game of Thrones quiz is a great idea – maybe Game of Thrones bingo? You could also purchase official Games of Thrones playing cards and board games.
Enjoy The Party
Follow all of this advice, and you can be assured that your Game of Thrones party will turn out perfectly. Enjoy the party!
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