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Balancing Punishments With Support Networks for Convicted Athletes

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Former New England Patriot, Aaron Hernandez, was convicted of 1st Degree Murder in April 2015

Criminal issues have certainly disgraced professional athletes with endless cases of murder, gun violence, domestic violence, drinking and driving, child endangerment, performance enhancing drugs, gambling, unauthorized videotaping, stolen crab legs, whatever the problem, there are daily scandals in the sports world.

The modern era of bad boys in sports dates back to 1994 when OJ Simpson may or may not have murdered his ex-wife, Nicole. He was acquitted, although he certainly endured a public execution and ended up in prison in 2008 anyway.

One problem in demonizing actions is by thinking something is new or shocking. However, the sports world has always been full of misappropriations. Athletes cheating or breaking the law is not new, or particularly shocking. It’s somewhat natural.

Athletes of All Ages Have Tried To Cheat the System

Performance enhancing drugs, for example, have been around a long time. They’ve only been highlighted more recently by rule changes regarding designer steroids. Still, doping has always been an issue. It was an issue going back to ancient Greeks using opium juice in the original Olympics and there are records in the 1940s of cyclists using amphetamines to help increase endurance. Across time, the supply has been different, not the culture.

The same can be said for gambling in sports. It is infrequently discussed enough to only be associated with Pete Rose or the 1919 Chicago Black Sox. These incidents were understandable in context of how they occurred and in context of history. From amateur to professional sports, gambling has been problematic in every era.

George Bechtel was banned from baseball in 1876 for conspiring to throw a game, and that was at a time when bookies circulated through the stands taking bets as if they were cotton candy vendors. As a 19-year-old semi-pro in 1907, future baseball hall of famer, Walter Johnson was purchased by Payette to pitch one game versus Caldwell with a heavy amount of betting. The original football golden boy and winner of the 1961 NFL MVP award, Paul Hornung, along with teammate Alex Karras, were suspended for betting on football. Denny McLain, the last pitcher to win 30 games to go with Cy Young awards in 1968 and 1969, was suspended in 1970 for gambling and quickly destroyed his baseball career on a path to prison.  

Players in the old days were not paid ridiculously high salaries as they are now. Baseball players were sometimes banned for requesting higher contracts prior to 1915. It took the formation of the Federal League in 1913 for player rights to be granted by American or National League owners. As the highest paid baseball player of his era, Ty Cobb made $20,000 in 1915, or roughly equivalent to just under $500,000 in 2015 dollars. The highest paid in 2015, Clayton Kershaw, makes over 60 times Ty Cobb’s adjusted-for-inflation salary.

It was assumed that players conspired with gamblers because they weren’t paid appropriately. As economics changed, players started to be paid more fairly and gambling became less of a problem overall, though the high salaries of modern players have resulted in high stakes gambling in many cases. Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley have been disgraced by gambling. Golfer John Daly is infamously known for his huge gambling losses. As well, modern day soccer players have lost millions in a psychosocial culture of gambling.

Gambling and doping are somewhat taken for granted as part of sports culture, but more violent behaviors, like murder (Aaron Hernandez), armed robbery (Clifford Etienne), child abuse (Adrian Peterson), and domestic violence are subject to harsher criticism. Whatever the social ill, there are many professional athletes guilty of transgressions. A Wikipedia list of crimes committed by athletes is longer than any team roster, many with mafia-like crimes.

Athletes have a drive to be competitive, a tenacity and fighting spirit. They have a desire to win at all costs. And when players of rough sports, like football, are so willing to throw their bodies into other bodies, how does such reckless abandon keep contained? That must be difficult, particularly for players from poor backgrounds subjected to violence as youth and/or with little education. To top it off, violence would seem more likely when condoned by coaches, such as the New Orleans Saints offering incentives for injuring opposing players.

Sometimes, giving someone millions of dollars just opens the door for millions of problems. That is the primary difference between the ages. In either case, it is not up to the athlete to behave. The athlete’s job is to compete at high levels. It is up to society to set the standards and provide the support, or lack of support, for player’s paychecks.

Leveling the Field

The big question becomes what penalties are appropriate? Should life be so strict as locking the door and throwing away the key?

No endorsement should ever be given to Ray Rice’s elevator incident and I personally would support a permanent ban in his, and similar cases. However, it’s also important to consider the element within human nature. Giving people a second chance provides hope.

Nobody is perfect. People know from the start that they will make mistakes. In fact, doctors in training necessarily need to make mistakes to learn. The differentiating factor separating a doctor’s success from failure is “knowledge of the repercussions and instill a character that doesn’t allow them to be the least paralyzed by the fear of the responsibility placed on their hands.” This means exactly that we must accept faults without being tied down by them.

There is much encouragement in learning and growing from mistakes and not being permanently locked away from another chance. The idea of the possibility of living only in fear and without hope is enough to make people more lenient toward criminals.

That much is evident with general prison populations. Most of the millions of prisoners in the United States will eventually be released and return to the public. With no hope or support, there absolutely will be a high recidivism rate. Oregon is admittedly progressive compared to many states, but still a heavy majority of Oregonians support rehabilitation efforts and services to prepare prisoners for reentry through job training, mental health, drug treatment and education. There is no reason to expect convicted athletes also wouldn’t benefit society better by having a support network. Some may say that due to their celebrity status and exceptional situations they would have even more need for certain services.

It is worth noting, however, that Oregonians also support close supervision of ex-prisoners. Basically, that means giving second chances, but with a short leash. My argument for not endorsing criminal activities while suggesting standards for athletes be in line with other people in society is similar. That is why Aaron Hernandez will serve life in prison. That is why Ray Rice shouldn’t get the golden path he had prior to his knocking out his wife. On the flipside, paying Sean Payton the richest coaching contract after a year long “vacation” is not congruent to what would happen in the rest of society.

When we let individuals off easy, we are not setting examples for the rest of society. Still, a second chance is crucial for the hope of future society. These are not individual problems because there are too many individuals committing the crimes. These are societal problems. Society needs room to breathe and recover from these problems.

Building Hope and Enforcing Accountability

Giving hope and holding people accountable can happen together. There are other avenues for Ray Rice beyond the football field. As a leader, or role model, maybe coach, Rice can still accomplish many great things. That’s up to him to show the strength to rebound from a reasonable punishment. Removing him from the game is part of the price paid for his actions. Holding him accountable makes the system fair and sends the message that assaulting other people is not okay.  

Society’s expectations for celebrities are pretty strict considering how many average people have problems staying out of trouble. This makes it problematic to expect more from athletes, yet we often judge them differently. What we need is the balance of toeing the line between knowing what is right, understanding consequences and feeling hopeful that we can succeed in the world despite lamentable actions.

Volunteer programs are one way that people can atone for mistakes. Even where people may come from poor backgrounds, the glamour and the spotlight may be too overwhelming. It is always significant to get people back in touch with more unfortunate situations to realize how bad things can be and how to correct problems to achieve better outcomes. That experience is too valuable to deprive from an individual and society.

Fans are the ones that have the ultimate power to hold athletes accountable. Fans support them with tickets, cable subscriptions and buying from advertisers. Society, in general, continues to offer massive financial support to pro sports leagues, even where they bash poor behaviors. In the end, people seem to still need entertainment in times of crisis. Modern life is full of endless war and strife, resulting in refugees in Hungary, Greece and Syria and elsewhere. At the same time, the Washington Post estimated that six million civilians have been killed by US interventions since WWII. We continue to support this carnage with tax dollars, so in some ways fans continuing to pay athletes for violence and cheating makes sense.

From my perspective, such social support shouldn’t make sense. While I am all for rehabilitation programs and giving outlets for the disgraced to continue to be successful, that doesn’t equal paying to support a destructive culture. There is enough entertainment to go around that I can spend my money elsewhere, so I focus on the betterment of society rather than being entertained by how bad boys can be. As long as fans give any attention, there is no room to complain. Athletes may be bad, but then we all are.

Meanwhile, September was the first month in six years that no NFL player was arrested. So, we’re getting somewhere, right?

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Daniel is a freelance writer and observationist, former English teacher and failed comedian. His interests include mindfulness, poverty, the environment and support for disenfranchised people worldwide. He is an ardent champion of terrestrial, freeform radio and a DJ at Radio Boise.

          
1 Comment
Martin Clark Martin Clark says:

boo fucking hoo these sports figures are admired and then when they fall from grace have a hard time dealing with reality…. Oh welll… welcome to the real world.

Culture

Girls Who Run the World at London ComicCon 2018

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Geek culture has a rocky history with women. But now, women are rocking geek culture. Historically, women have faced invisibility (not the superpowered kind), exclusion, active hostility, violence, and sexualisation.

This is across video games (the communities surrounding video games), films, TV, and comic books – from sci-fi, superhero and fantasy genres. Geek culture does not ‘cause’ gender inequality. However, it does facilitate and shut down particular attitudes.

The stories we tell teach us who is important – and who is not. And now, women are taking charge of their own stories.

MCM London Comic Con

Orange is the New Black stars Tiffany Doggett (Taryn Manning) and Flaca Gonzalez (Jackie Cruz) spoke about the importance of centering women’s stories, particularly untold stories. The hit Netflix series focuses on a women’s prison, and the actors admitted that they have learned a lot about the conditions faced by incarcerated women during the filming process. There is also space to unpick gendered issues around race and class. “If you don’t see it, create it”, Jackie added, speaking of her extracurricular endeavours with music production.

Then, there were the wrestlers.

EVE  is a self-described “ground-breaking feminist-punk-rock wrestling promotion”: a pro wrestling group for women. ComicCon hosted a debut screening of Empowered, a documentary by Lea Winchcombe showcasing Rhia O’Reilly and Candy Floss. Unashamedly feminist and political, the documentary considers the challenges of being a female wrestler (stereotypes, naysayers and balancing home life), with the buzz of parading around the ring being “glamourous and outrageous”.

On being a role model for her daughter and others, EVE founder Emily Read laughed, “I am the hero, I am the strong one”.  They have opened up wrestling classes for women which build their confidence and self-esteem (irrespective of being novice, casual, professional or old hat). “Women have a place, women have a voice, and women kick ass!” she concluded. The author of this article may very well have shed a tear.

On a less physically exerting note, geek writer/actor/creator Felicia Day happily spoke about her work and creative projects alongside motherhood and her hair. Many members of the audience seemed to share with Felicia the same heartfelt and almost tangible importance of having a female role model within the industry to look up to. Felicia humbly acknowledged the praise and assured us that female representation in geek culture is changing. This was a repeated message at this year’s ComicCon – and a very believable one.

Photo Credit: GoGCast 156: Interview with Patricia Summersett and Victoria Atkin | Girls on Games

Voice actors from Pokemon, South Park (yes, April Stewart confirmed that Wendy is very well received by female fans) and Assassin’s Creed participated in discussions about their gender (of course, only as one element of the colorful spectrum of conversations).

Victoria Atkin and Patricia Summersett of the Assassin’s Creed games spoke about how “challenging” things can be in the industry – particularly to find female characters that aren’t one of the two common tropes of  “sexualised” or “butch”, but “somewhere in the middle”. They discussed wanting to be role models for women in a world where there can be little representation, with a standard gender ratio which appears to “almost compensate for having a female lead”. (Yes, Guardians of the Galaxy and Justice League, I’m looking at you – the good old ‘one woman in a group of four or five men’ trick).

Victoria and Patricia positively, and somewhat bravely considering how women can be treated for speaking up, critiqued their industry to a somewhat male-heavy press audience. These women want to be, and indeed, they are, changemakers – whilst acknowledging the hopeful message that, already, “It is changing”.

Away from the interview room in Comic Village, there was a whole host of women proudly showcasing their own work. This included everything from personal stories about one’s cat (and other pets), adventure tales, tea and romance, magic, fairies and fantasy, space and Japan. Worth a special mention in this mix was the interweaving of gender, sexuality, and race in the creations. Sexuality we may consider another time.

Olivia Duchess showcased a stall solely dedicated to beautiful, tender artwork of Black girls and women. Having been drawing since 2015, Olivia explained that “When I was growing up, I didn’t anyone who looked like me… I didn’t see a lot of Black characters,” (Susie Carmichael from Rugrats got a special mention). She continued, with a modest shrug, “I’m trying to be the change I want to see”, as though unaware of her brilliance.

The interplay of gender and race was also witnessed in other ways – for example, Letitia Wright (Princess Shuri from Black Panther), discussed the importance of  Black female presence in her film, not least the range of “strong female characters”. She agreed with an audience member, “The women were an amazing entity”, before going on to talk about the value of a “Disney Princess with cornrows”.

There was a woman so overwhelmed with emotion at meeting the badass Black Panther science princess, Letitia Wright, that she was trembling with joy. After a quick photo, she took my hand intently, asking: “Do you understand? Do you understand what this means for Black people?”

Her face was full of magic and the power of visibility. I don’t know how one heart held so much in a moment.

This theme was repeated by IvyDoomKitty in her panel on mental health with Janina Scarlett. She spoke about how she had never thought the representation of women was important in geek culture until she saw it. Before then, she was satisfied with the norm of the male superhero. Then she saw DC’s Wonder Woman: an unfurling, a stirring. A hunger revealed. As Dr. Scarlett said, in her discussion about seeing oneself in these stories, “equality sends a very powerful message that everyone is equal and everyone matters”.

I felt it too, this ComicCon. A sense of … something, resonating, muscular and powerful, yet somehow delicate and bright. The kind of visceral sensation that glows in your belly and makes you grab a stranger’s hand and ask them:

Do you understand?

ComicCon, I think you did understand. You gave women – all kinds of women – space, made us central and elevated our power.

Superwomen are here to stay. See you next year!

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Culture

Rekindle that Friendship and be Friends with your Spouse Again

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Many courtships start because of attraction and lust, while genuine feelings and emotional intimacy in relationships grow over time. The passionate beginning of a relationship is filled with fireworks, but if you really want your marriage to last you and your partner need to be friends as well as lovers.

When you think about doing your favorite hobby or sharing a secret, do you think about doing these things with one of your girlfriends/the guys, or with your husband/wife?

Having a spouse as a best friend is something most partners dream about when looking for their soulmate. But, after many years of marriage, you may start to feel like you’re losing sight of the friendship you used to have.

If you want a long-lasting, healthy relationship, you need to learn how to bring friendship back in your marriage. We’re looking at 7 ways you can rekindle a friendship with your spouse.

  1. What Makes a Good Friend?

Before creating a deeper bond of friendship with your partner, you must consider what actually makes a good friend. Some common qualities people look for in friends include:

  • Having fun together
  • Showing support
  • Good communication skills
  • Shared interests
  • Ability to work as a team
  • Loyalty
  • Encouragement
  • Love
  • Enthusiasm
  • Shared Values
  • Forgiveness
  • Trustworthiness
  • Reliability

By narrowing down the most important qualities of friendship you will have a better idea of what areas you excel at and which areas you need to work on as a couple.

  1. Create Common Interests

It’s healthy to have separate hobbies and interests than your spouse. It’s what makes you unique. But, is there a point where separate hobbies become separate bedrooms?

As drastic as that sounds it drives home a strong point: relationships are about doing things with someone you love. This, of course, covers living together, sharing in your daily routines, as well as other naughty aspects of marriage. But, it also means sharing hobbies, passions, and interests.

Many couples enjoy taking classes together, be it language, cooking, or dance. Love rollercoasters? Why not get a season’s pass for a local amusement park, or head out to the local jazz club and spend a night of romance hearing some local musicians over a glass of wine?

You can help deepen your emotional intimacy in relationships by developing mutual interests with your spouse.

  1. Date Night

Have you heard enough about the importance of date night, yet? Well, here’s one more reminder. Date night can do wonders for couples communication, romance, friendship, and sexual chemistry in your marriage. If you aren’t making date night a regular part of your week, you ought to.

Scheduling a weekly date night is an excellent opportunity to work on communication, to express appreciation for one another, to woo one another, and to bring romance and friendship back together.

  1. Laugh Together

Want some romantic ideas that will deepen emotional intimacy in relationships? Laugh together! Studies show that laughter, as well as giving many health benefits, can also do wonders for your relationship.

In one study, 71 couples told the story of how they met. The couple’s laughter that occurred during the storytelling process was recorded and analyzed. The results show that the proportion of the time spent laughing simultaneously with their spouse was positively associated with the relationship quality and closeness.

Simply put: Laughing together makes for happier, closer relationships.

  1. Take an Interest in Each Other’s Passions

One of the main things that make couples friends as well as lovers is that they take an interest in each other’s passions, hobbies, and interests.

If your partner enjoys sports, why not sit down and watch a game with them or ask them to teach you about the sport? You can also attend a sporting event together or go out and play it yourself. Even if it isn’t your usual cup-of-tea, your spouse will appreciate that you took an interest in their passion.

And who knows, it may just be your new favorite hobby!

If your partner loves the water, schedule an aquatic activity together such as jet-skiing, surfing, or take scuba-diving classes as a couple. If your partner loves art, go to your local art museum. If they like outdoors, go hiking. Does your spouse love music? Learn an instrument so you can create your own musical duo.

Taking an interest in the things your partner is passionate about will make them feel special. It shows them that you both like and love them enough to spend your time doing the things they enjoy.

  1. Reminisce

Reminiscing is a fun way to spend your time together. You can look back fondly on how you met, what each of you felt during the courtship process. You can talk about your proposal or relive fantastically dirty times together. But most importantly, you can remember what it is that made you click in the first place.

Consider why you started pursuing one another. What were the common interests and hobbies that made you friends in the first place? Once you discover these you can make an effort to rekindle that friendship. Go back and recreate your first date or pick up an old shared-hobby that used to make you both happy.

  1. Be Nice

Some of the most romantic ideas are often the simplest. If you want to deepen your friendship with your spouse, be nice.

People often feel they can be more comfortable with their partners and therefore, do not use manners and niceties as much as they would when out in public or with someone new. But, why should you give your spouse less of your kindness than you would to the barista at your morning coffee house?

Don’t be overly critical of your spouse, cheer them on in their goals, compliment them, express appreciation, say “Please” and “Thank you”, and go out of your way to look for ways to be helpful, romantic, or loving to them.

Remember how excited you use to be knowing that you got to spend the rest of your life with your best friend? Don’t let that fire go out. By changing your perception, working on communicating, creating a weekly date night, and taking an interest in each other’s hobbies you can make your partner your best friend.

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Culture

The Divorce Divide in 2018

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Photo Credit: Jeremy Wong Weddings

For many years, there has been a misconception that half of divorces end in marriage. Luckily, this generalization is flawed. According to new research and trend analyzations by experts, the drop in overall divorce rates is caused by a decline in the rate among college students who get married which is a shift in economic status among women and a new divide between those who receive college degrees.

Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men

According to research published by Michael Rosenfeld, an associate sociology professor at Stanford University, divorce rates are initiated by women 70% of the time. The San Diego divorce lawyers at Yelman & Associates believe this is directly correlated to the fact that more married women in heterosexual relationships report lower levels of relationship quality than married men. When it comes to non-marital break-ups, the research suggests that men are equally as likely to initiate a separation in the relationship.

Social scientists have argued that women initiate more divorces due to the fact they can be more vulnerable to relationship difficulties. However, Rosenfeld argues these “conclusions” by saying his findings support the feminist assertion that women can experience marriage as oppressive or uncomfortable, “Wives still take their husbands’ surnames, and are sometimes pressured to do so.

Husbands still expect their wives to do the bulk of the housework and the bulk of the childcare. On the other hand, I think that non-marital heterosexual relationships lack the historical baggage and expectations of marriage, which makes the non-marital heterosexual relationships more flexible and therefore more adaptable to modern expectations, including women’s expectations for more gender equality.”

Education and the Divorce Divide

Dr. Steven P. Martin, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Maryland explains there’s a growing gap between those who are married. He refers to this as the “divorce divide,” this analysis explores the idea that education plays a key role in demographic research, socioeconomic evaluation and also divorce rates in the United States. In his analysis he explains,”From the 1970s to the 1990s, rates of marital dissolution fell by almost half among 4-year college graduates, but remained relatively high and steady among women with less than a 4-year college degree.”

The divorce rate for women without undergraduate degrees has remained around 35% since 1980. For women with a college degree, the divorce rate has shrunk from 27% to 16% since the 1980’s. Martin explains many factors that can contribute to this including socioeconomic status, wage patterns, equality among women and a shift in educational attainment. For example, Martin argues women who are at the low end of the educational spectrum might have a harder time finding a husband.

On the contrary, the report suggests that women who have a strong career might “have strong career attachment and economic independence that weaken their marital commitment.” Dr. Martin explains another possible link for changing divorce rates could be factors such as a shift in personal values among younger generations, changes in society unrelated to economic inequality and a change from collective to individualistic interests.

Baby Boomers and Millennial Changes

According to the National Center for Health Statistics and the U.S Census Bureau, in 2015, 10 out of 50 (up from 5) couples over 50 years old got divorced. Additionally, for those ages 65 and older the divorce rate roughly tripled since 1990 at 6 out of every 100 couples. As of 2015, Baby Boomers (those roughly between the ages of 51 to 69 make up the bulk of these ages that have a climbing divorce rate.

The numbers indicate that the shorter time a couple has been married, the higher the chance of a divorce is for adults 50 and older. By contrast, divorce rates for adults between 25 to 39 have fallen from 30 out of every 1,000 to only 24. This is because the median age at first marriage has increased by about 4 years for men and women since 1990.

According to an article in the New York Times, the divorce rate peaked in the 1970’s and has been declining for three decades. Money seems to be a big concern for millennials and tying the knot can also come along with a heavy burden of debt. According to The Knot’s 2015 wedding study, the average cost of a wedding in America is now $32,641. A new trend being explored by millennials is wedding loans.

What does this mean for you and your future spouse? If you listen to financial experts, they suggest prolonging an engagement before you say “I do.” Does this information make you feel more informed or more depressed about marriage?

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Culture

Is the #MeToo Movement Leaving Black Women Behind

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Oscar Award Winning Actress Lupita Nyong’o

Women have been sexually exploited for centuries and its foundation is heavily rooted in American history. But what about the black woman and her story? With all of the sexual harassment allegations and mayhem involving big names such as Weinstein, Moore, Spacey and now Matt Lauer; it should come as no surprise that black women are included in the ever growing list of victims.

However, it couldn’t be the further from the truth. It has been amazing and yet difficult to digest the responses to the black women who have come forth with allegations of sexual harassment. The skepticism and scrutiny in which many have been subjected to is both distasteful and heartbreaking. How is it that in 2017 our stories still don’t matter?

It is of strongly held opinions that the black woman was the original victim of what we now know to be sexual abuse/harassment/violence. The historic amnesia that America has denied for centuries has found a way to rear its ugly head only for the sake of whiteness and other contemporary motives yet the black woman is still forgotten.

Lest we forget that it was the black woman who was raped, killed, exploited, molested and subjugated to adapt to cultural norms that she may never receive full acceptance into despite her many contributions and heavy influence on this culture. Rooted in racist ideology that perpetuates systems of superiority, power, and control; it is evident why the black woman’s story is unbelievable.

Pair that with a century’s long narrative that has painted a picture of the black woman as an over sexualized seductress whose very anatomy is both revered and seen as threatening, and we now have plausibility to deny anything that comes out of her mouth claiming victimization. When a black woman claims that she has been victimized, why is she automatically seen as the perpetrator or instigator?

Case in point, Harvey Weinstein quickly refuted claims from Oscar-winning actress, Lupita N’yongo, but for the most part remained silent on claims from other women. It is important to note that N’yongo is the only black woman who has come forth with allegations of sexual harassment by Mr. Weinstein. Are we to believe that Weinstein had an ‘off switch’ when it came to Lupita N’yongo? Pssshhh, I think not!

Surely people are not naïve to the fact that black women have and continue to experience sexual harassment and exploitation at alarmingly high rates. In fact, a quick Google search on black women and sexual harassment will render a host of information chronicling our fight against sexual harassment.

One will even learn how it was the struggles of a collective group of black women that helped shape sexual-harassment laws and the many protections it provides on the books today. It is also important to note that when the perpetrator of sexual misconduct is a black male whose victim’s are typically black women, little to no attention is brought to these issues.

For instance, when you hear the name, R. Kelly, not only is it synonymous with music and pop culture, but you may also think ‘affinity for young girls’ as well. Despite decades of suspicion, allegations, and videos of sexual misconduct, Kelly’s career has persisted and even thrived. This is an unlikely paradox given the current environment that has resulted in many high-powered men losing nearly everything they have worked for.

Even Bill Cosby was shunned for his actions. So why the difference? Again, when you compare Kelly up against other men, the only real difference is the victims. Kelly’s victims are typically young black girls and women whose lives and stories simply don’t hold as much value as their white counterparts.

There is little doubt that the black woman’s mind body and soul has been invaded in an effort to dominate the very space that she occupies. Slavery taught us that while the black male was indeed the head of the family, leader of the tribe and physically capable to withstand formidable circumstances; it was the black woman who was the driving force behind black people’s survival.

Even still today, she has had to take on all of these roles in the absence of the black male due to the continuous assault on his life while attempting to maintain some semblance of normalcy for both herself and her family.

Somewhere along the way, black women were placed at the bottom of the barrel and devalued or perhaps she was never valued at all. Society has stripped her of every human right you can think of. She has been poked, prodded, studied, raped, exploited, coerced, deprived, abused, and so on and so forth.

History has shown us that the black woman is a part of one of the most disenfranchised groups and that despite the many strides she has made in overcoming adversity, society still seeks to invade her space, steal her virtue all while denying her claims that give truth to her existence.

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How Millennials are Changing Rape Culture

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It’s no secret that millennials aren’t afraid to share their voice. The emergence of social media has provided young minds with an outlet for conversation, expression, and rebellion. Their voices aren’t being overshadowed by outspoken politicians and news anchors – not to say that activism and enthusiasm for causes were absent in history.

However, millennials unique use of social media as a tool for change has had a positive influence on how our society views rape culture. Not only is there an influx of influence by millennials as a whole, trends demonstrate awareness in their use of media techniques to drive narratives. By diving into the main causes of sexual assault, we’re able to find a trend that positively impacts how future generations will view sexual assault and rape culture.

A Movement, not Social Media Campaign

The recent news headlines about sexual assault violations from movie producers, politicians and – ironically enough – news anchors, has sparked an entire #metoo movement. A movement that has been around for quite some time but only really came to headlines following thousands of “re-tweets” of a post made by Alyssa Milano using the #metoo hashtag. Both men and women have used social media as a platform to share stories of sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Millennials know the signs of sexual abuse very well because education on the subject has been enforced in public schools throughout the US. What makes this movement so empowering for millennials and older generations is that both younger and older individuals are able to share their stories and confide in each other. This juxtaposition of empowerment between ages is a correlation to how rape culture is likely to be viewed.

The #metoo movement is far from a glorification of rape culture. It is an outcry for openness that had so long been shunned by mainstream media. These victims realize their voices need and want to be heard. Many of these stores have been held back by woman and men for so many years because they were afraid they would be shamed. Social sharing is so important for millennials because it helps them share and receive valuable information. As a society, no previous generation has ever been more connected.

Objectified, Blamed and Shamed

So what was it that bred this fear to share and be outspoken sexual abuse victims? In previous generations, the primary source for information was the evening news. According to research conducted by Rainn.org, an organization dedicated to victims of sexual violence, %54 of sexual assault victims are between the ages of 18-34.

Currently, those who are between the ages 18-34 are classified as “millennials.” So how can it be those who are the largest victims are the biggest influencers on sexual abuse? Social media has given those victims a voice and as a result, this has made those who are most vulnerable, more valuable to ending sexual assault.

A United Message

The women’s march on Washington following Trump’s election in 2016 is an incredible example of how millennials are coming together in an effort to create awareness and advocate for the most vulnerable. For decades, Marches on Washington have been a progressive symbol for change.

Not only was the whole world watching, but the notion of involvement was what drew millions of people and inspired millions more to start their own marches. Today, the idea of being involved is stronger than anything. Not only are millennials the largest – they’re the loudest and proudest.

Millennials make up a quarter of the population, so naturally, their voices are overpowering. According to the Pew Research Center, millennials are the best educated group of young adults in American history. Additionally, %54 percent of millennials have started their own business or are planning to in the future. The influence is carried both socioeconomically and economically.

While population grows, so does its knowledge. It’s safe to say the impact millennials have had on sexual abuse is positive and promising for our future generations. They have shown they will not tolerate harassment in the workplace or on the internet. Nor will they tolerate not standing for something.

This “pact mentality” both in the virtual world and the real world will inspire future generations to make their own landmark changes which will include an ever-changing moral discussion on humanity.

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Fearless: How One Financial Expert Faced Her Fear Of Public Speaking

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Pamela Yellen and Richard Branson

When you are on a collision course to face your fears in order to achieve your future career goals, what will you do? Do you run and hide, drag your feet and hope things will blow over, or will you dawn your Super Woman cape and address the elephant in the room?

Today’s woman wears many hats and it should come as no surprise that with all of the role-changes, fear and anxiety can be a bit challenging for some. Add to that a career path that is rooted in public speaking and you could have a recipe for disaster as the challenges faced with respect to public speaking are high. Communication, in general, tends to be challenging for women on both a personal and professional level for various reasons, but why do we seem to struggle a bit more with public speaking?

Sweaty palms, a racing heart, or feeling like a frog is lodged in your throat. Those psychosomatic symptoms can be a real bummer and for many women, they never achieve their full potential due to their overwhelming fear of public speaking. To shed light on this common problem, we turned to financial expert and two-time New York Times bestseller, Pamela Yellen, who knows all too well about overcoming the fear of public speaking.

We wanted to know how someone who had garnered enough support to raise $25,000 in funds for the American Cancer Society and was fearless enough to dawn a gold-sequined leotard while riding on an elephant struggled with fear and anxiety that almost halted her career pursuits. “You can be a risk taker and still be afraid to get up in front of more than a couple of people.”

Despite the risks Pamela has taken in her life, it wasn’t until she decided to go in a different direction and develop a more professional career as a financial services consultant and public speaker that she was prompted to deal with her “paralyzing stage fright.” Once she conquered her fears, she went on to help others face their fears relating to financial security and grace us with Bank on Yourself: The Life-Changing Secret to Growing and Protecting Your Financial Future and The Bank On Yourself Revolution: Fire Your Banker, Bypass Wall Street, and Take Control of Your Own Financial Future.

To help quell her fears and set her on the path to success, Pamela got busy and ushered in the help of a mentor. When asked if she felt like the mentoring approach and feedback would have set her on a different path had her mentor been a female, she chuckled, “I guess we’ll never know, but I will tell you that I was a bit intimidated by him and he was a very strong, demanding, no-nonsense kind of guy. I think maybe I needed that [approach] at that time.” She also acknowledges her abilities to develop and lead people to reach their potential, developing strategies to avoid foreseeable obstacles, and her natural curiosity to challenge conventional wisdom as key strengths that have contributed to her success.

So what do you do when all eyes are on you and it seems as if the world is judging you? According to Pamela, “You can choose are you gonna sit there and stand there and worry about what they’re gonna think about you or are you going to focus on the fact that you have value to give them.”

Having a clear focus is important when taking on any task, especially something as intimidating as public speaking.Once you choose to change your focus to the value that you bring to your client or an audience, you can begin to approach public speaking differently. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you will never have a nervous moment again. Pamela stated she “still gets plagued by a lack of confidence every now and then” but despite a few hang-ups, she has still persisted and has been quite successful in pursuing her goals.

Speaking of womanhood, we would be remiss not to address the obstacles faced by women in addition to the generalized fear many have regarding public speaking. How does one persist when it seems like odds are stacked against women? Being a woman has made her somewhat of an easier target to negative criticism and has been a cause of hesitancy along her journey.

Given many of the patriarchal norms and stereotypes assigned to women that continue to shape much of society, it’s easy to see how despite all of her success, remnants of fear and anxiety can still rear their ugly head. There is little doubt that being a woman presents its own set of problems when speaking out and sometimes against the status quo.

When asked about her thoughts on being a woman in such a male-dominated field, Pamela stated, “people attack me regularly because I go against the conventional financial wisdom.” She also offered an inspiring quote from her mentor, Dan Kennedy, “It’s been so profoundly powerful for me ‘If you’re not offending someone by noon every day then you’re not doing much.'” Despite her critics, like a true superhero, Pamela still persists and we are thankful for it.

Switching gears, the interview would not have been complete without garnering some financial advice from the guru herself. Money and financial security or lack thereof can be a great cause of fear and anxiety for anybody. Understanding that a large part of overcoming fear or anxiety involves doing something different, rather it be challenging yourself or learning something new. Pamela’s book encourages you to do both.

With no regard to socio-economic status, age, or income, Bank On Yourself allows consumers to achieve their goals and take control of their financial situation by avoiding Wall Street while challenging financial institutions and their tactics.

While different groups have benefited from Pamela’s books, advice, and financial expertise; by far the group that has benefited the most have been the baby-boomer generation. “I think a lot of baby boomers and women have benefited from my books because the baby-boomers are the ones or the group that no longer has guaranteed pensions from their companies and their basically on their own to save for their own retirement.” For those still reeling from the Recession, looking to recover from slow economic growth, or gain financial freedom Pamela advises “if you’re not comfortable with the idea of never being sure that you’ll have you know a certain amount of money for retirement you need to look at safe and guaranteed methods of saving for retirement.”

Rather it is public speaking, finances, or career guidance; no matter how successful, when it comes to certain things, fear and doubt can set in and if left unaddressed will find a permanent home in our lives. To learn more about some of these safe financial methods and get a free and safe wealth building report, you can visit www.bankonyourself.com.

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