This is reflection piece written by Angel Ofire a Social Worker practicing on the Gold Coast of Australia. Angel works tirelessly to eradicate teen homeless in her country. To learn more about Angel and her work visit her at Choices a community service program assisting children and families experiencing hardships.
Dear future Angel,
No matter what point it is that you have come to find this letter, I would like you to know that you have worked hard, no correction above hard to get as far as you have come.
You have surprised even me, (well actually you) with your passion, determination and ultimately your stubborn nature that seems to have come in handy especially in relation to the almost impossible task of changing the way community service provision is provided to people within the community including raising awareness as you continue to shout it out about mental illness, and how it is not an imaginary illness, nor is this an illness that should be down played as it has some very serious effects on so many people.
Your will, determination and sheer pig headedness to make it heard, that there are simply some professionals out there who need to re-evaluate what their field of professionalism is actually in, and telling people to get a new profession has been one that has often shown courage, but mostly you can thank that impulsive nature you have.
The very nature you seemed to think was your downfall; however this impulse is more of strength than anything else.
You are indeed yes your own worst critic, therefore maybe you need to give yourself a break from trying to reach for perfection and beyond perfection from time to time and accept that yes even you make mistakes.
Its not the end of the world to admit that your human well we are human.
Oh yes well I remember, try not to fly off the handle to fast at these new found things that your discovering to be triggers that are setting off the post-traumatic stress disorder, that for some reason you try to fight.
Fighting this PTSD is futile, even though I know you are more than aware of this, considering you can and do go 8 days no sleep and still continue to keep pushing that body of yours above and beyond what it is capable of.
Well we are on the subject of your health, and well body, you know that you have to go and get this surgery your putting off done not only will it remove the part of you that is causing you such pain, that you bite your bottom lip to descise, but it will regulate that whole hormone thing, and give you back some kind of quality to life, rather than the current up down battle you have between hormones and medication.
Yes I know too well that having a hysterectomy is not one of the things you would of imagined us to have to get done, and I know that this operation gives us that feeling of being less than whole, but face it your (our) baby making days are finished, its time to get rid of those bits that are causing god knows what problems, and get back to being some kind of human again.
Oh one final thing, its ok to admit your scared to others, you don’t have to be this super brave human all the time
And that man you love, well he loves you back more than you know, in fact I will tell you this now, he would do anything and everything for you and all your kids, he considers them to be his babies too. So stop being so f***ing stubborn, and learn to let him love you, and remember this, he does know if you have been crying in the shower, or when your holding in tears, he does know you better than anyone on the face of this earth.
Let him be there to hold you through your tears, and share the laughs with him the good the bad the s*** and the little girl you try so desperately to hide, because trust me Angel he sees her more than you realise.
So until we meet again, good luck and for f*** sake take my advice.
After all nobody knows you better than the Angel writing this.