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Mental Health

Slut Shamed Teens: The Amanda Todd Story

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by Sarah Devine

I have encountered several stories recently about slut-shamed teens who have taken their own lives, including Amanda Todd, who was harassed through Facebook and other social media after exposing her breasts to a much older man. Obviously, these stories highlight the continued need to address bullying and harassment–and to take it seriously, not dismissing it as a “phase” youth go through–and to teach young people how to protect themselves online (Amanda Todd’s harrasser found much of her personal information online, including where she lived and what school she attended).

Despite the internet’s centrality to many young people’s lives, some youth remain unaware of the dangers of posting personal information and photos to social networking sites–or even sending them to friends. Images and words can “live” on the internet forever, facilitating long-term bullying and harassment that the victim is powerless to escape.

Of course, there are larger concerns also, including how a 30-year-old man who could bully a 7th-grader and distribute a topless photo of her without punishment, or how she could suffer such extreme bullying at school without the intervention of parents, teachers or staff. And, perhaps largest of all, how patriarchy continues to enable slut-shaming in our society.

None of these concerns are going to disappear anytime soon, but as someone who works with teenage girls they are always present in some form or another. Many of the girls I work with can describe slut-shaming to a T, but they wouldn’t call it that. To them, it’s how life is; a girl expresses her sexuality somehow (or simply has rumors spread about her to that effect) and her peers come down hard on her with oppressive, shameful comments. I think that the first step is to help youth recognize how inappropriate and misogynistic these actions are. So may girls are growing up without a feminist vocabulary to help them make sense of the sexist and oppressive dynamics they are inevitably being exposed to at school and in the media. Here is a video of Amanda Todd made days before her suicide.

Update

To view archive visit this link: http://storify.com/SWUnited/slut-shaming-and-the-amanda-todd-story#publicize

[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ej7afkypUsc[/youtube]

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Sarah Devine works for a domestic violence agency doing prevention education with teens.

          
13 Comments

Thanks for sharing this important information!

DeeJay BeWy says:

Hey perso Amanda is dead because of you. Isn’t it time to move on. You mention another young girl who was also screen capped….another one of your victims. You say you have over 9000 boys and girls whom you have sexually assaulted. we know who you are,

DeeJay BeWy says:

perso the pedo your obsession with Amanda is showing

DeeJay BeWy says:

He is the one who screen capped Amanda and was so obsessed he drove her to her death and is still going after her mother. His name is fictitious and if you have his IP address, then contact me because I am now working with Carol Todd and the police to get this guy off the net. Read my reply to him to find out more.

DeeJay BeWy says:

Hey perso the pedo who was the one who capped Amanda and is so obsessed with her still you hve told her mother to go kill herself. Tick tock pedo. I have a blog with screen caps of you admitting to being perso and also to having sexually abused over 9000 boys and girls which is the number of fans you falsely claim to have on your insane psycho babble of a blog. It was not Kody. It was you. You are angry because no one figured that out but be happy because I did. You fit the pedophile stalker to a T. You lost your victim so you go after her mom. I have your real IP, have seen pics of you and have your admission so nothing you say anywhere on the net can be believed. You are using a fake name to target people. You will be stopped and our kids will be safe from you.

Gracie says:

It appears you missed the entire point of the article completely or you’re ignoring it on purpose, where are your sources that Amanda did drugs, drank and GOD FORBID had sex? Even if it were the case, for the sake of the argument how does that make it okay for her to have hell unleashed upon her? Your statements are all basically saying that yes she was a “slut” and deserved everything that was coming to her. That’s exactly what the OP was saying, people like YOU are the problem. You’re victim blaming, slut shaming, passive aggressive misogyny is sickening and glaringly obvious. Good news is you don’t have to feel empathy for Amanda, because unlike you, there are individuals out there who have a clear, level head on this issue who can see past the smoke and mirrors of people like you Philip, I seriously hope that you don’t have any children.

Philip Rose says:

I have no interest in providing a state of mind. I am only interested in what the evidence and the facts say. She was, for want of a better phrase, addicted to the Internet. She was also, mentally, very unstable. She got into drink, drugs, sex. This is not a story of old-man-predator, it’s a story of the complete failure to look after a very vulnerable child. She was crying out for help – in the video,she says she’s alone – where were the parents/carers. She enjoyed what she was doing online and got out of her depth (it reminds me slightly of the Jessie Slaughter story). If you turn it too much into a sensationalised story of online predation, or put too much emphasis on bullying, you risk, as a social worker, not seeing the underlying problems that were there. And btw – no, I’m not a pedophile, and yes, I have no empathy.

SWhelper says:

When I read your comments, my impression is not of someone who is looking at this incident as another internet viewer. You seem to be invested in providing a state of mind for a young teenager who can no longer speak for herself. Your lack of empathy for a young person who took her own life is astonishing. I have no other questions just observations. You do know this is a social work website, I analyze people motives, what’s said, and what’s not said for a living.

Philip Rose says:

To a certain extent, you’ve misunderstood. If it is the 19 year old, he would possibly have still been a minor when the situation occurred. However, you have also perhaps misunderstood the story. Over a period of at least a year, Amanda Todd did live ‘shows’ voluntarily – she was not tricked, or coerced. Her photos were widely available; she was infamous online; she was mentioned on the Capper Awards. The story of her pics being distributed is, currently, not certain, and the age/existence of any online person is still vague. This is the story of parental incompetence, the dangers of BlogTV (from which she was banned) and other websites, the naivete of girls (as you have mentioned). But the ‘online predator/older man’ is a myth – she had multiple online identities (pretending to be 21 on one, 35 on another!) and gave away all her details freely – there was no need to ‘stalk’ her. She was taken off the Internet – it died down – but she went back on again and got into the same mess. I have a feeling there were no charges because there was no case – perhaps we will never know. But remember, the majority of the bullying came from kids her own age – she was hit by a girl. The majority of this story is either false (no history of moving, no one-off flash incident and so on) that it can’t really be used as a basis for anything. Please feel free to ask about anything else.

SWhelper says:

I have read your comments. However, I have a slightly different perspective. Whether it be 19 or 30, both under the eyes of the law is of adult age. She was 13/14 years old. One picture or 1,000 pictures, how does it alleviate one’s actions from spreading said photo or pictures? Because no charges were filed, does it mean in your view no wrong was committed?

Philip Rose says:

Also the story of a one-off flash is wrong. There were tons of videos put out by her. Photos are available all over the internet. Most of the story is false. Please take time to research.

Philip Rose says:

Please – take care. The 30 year old DOES NOT exist. This is false information put out by Anonymous at the time and has, unfortunately, become part of the story. The person you think you are talking about is 19; and there are no charges linked to the case.

Mental Health

Conscious Service and The Role of Intuition

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I love talking about intuition and even more than that, I love connecting to my intuition. I find intuitive moments to be highly energizing and uniquely interesting ~ sometimes, even entertaining.

What do you think about intuition? Is it a function or our physiological brain? Is it a function of our spirit ~ our hearts? Maybe, it’s a combination of both?

I have always felt that intuitive guidance was spiritual in nature ~ that it involved my heart and soul and would express itself to me through feelings and sensations that I would experience in my body. Intuition would come to me through ideas and messages that I would think and hear. If the answer was no, it feels a certain way in my body. Yes, has it’s own vibration as well.

The Sixth Sense

They call intuition the “sixth sense” for a reason. We receive information from and about the world in us and around us through our senses. We see, hear, feel, taste, and smell ~ and we intuit. It is through our senses that we interpret our experiences.

Intuition works in much the same way as our other senses and also communicates to us through our senses. We all have the capacity to access intuitive guidance. Some of us are more naturally inclined intuitively and everyone can strengthen intuitive abilities. In that way, intuition is much like a muscle ~ the more we use it, the stronger it gets. The more we tune into it, the greater the likelihood is that we will receive its communication more readily. As you grow to trust your intuitive messages and follow your inner guidance more frequently, you will notice that there are greater stores of information available to you. It will become second nature to simply tune into to what you are picking up on through your intuition.

Intuitive Messages

I often experience my intuition through messages in the outer world. I have found myself asking questions or pondering a challenge in my life and suddenly I’ll drive past a billboard and the message is loud and clear. I’ll turn on the radio to receive my guidance through the lyrics of a song. I open a book and my eyes land on a passage that illuminates a deeper insight or affirms what my heart already knows.

Your intuition will communicate with you through symbols and images, thoughts and feelings that are familiar to you ~ that already have meaning for you. Your intuition is there to enlighten you ~ not to trick you.

Setting the intention to hear your intuitive guidance is a simple and yet powerful way to open yourself and set the stage to receive. You can engage in centering practices in the morning to do this and you can also simply take any moment in time to extend the invitation and indicate your readiness and willingness to listen.

I find that it is also imperative to detach ~ to let go ~ of the outcome, my hoped for message, and the way that the intuitive information comes through. And, of course, the timing of the message. If I stay attached to a particular response, I will likely misinterpret the voice of my ego for the wisdom of my intuition and this is potentially dangerous or at the very least painful in some way. If I cannot find the patience to sit quietly within until the answer arrives, I will likely jump the gun and attempt to control situations in my life just to make something happen.

The reality is that our intuitive guidance is always there and available to us and quite often speaks to us very quickly. When it feels like it’s taking too long, it is usually because we don’t want to hear what we already know. And we always know. Part of the beauty of our humanity is that we are wired to survive and some aspect of ourselves will protect us from truths we aren’t quite ready to acknowledge.

Enter courage and curiosity. Enter trust and faith. When you can become courageous enough to get really curious about the mysterious nature of your existence, you can come face to face with the unknown and know that you are safe and that you will be led and protected when you listen closely to your internal guidance system.

Quiet your mind. Still your heart. Take a deep breath. And listen.

You have everything you need.

Interview with Lucca Hallex

In an interview with Lucca Hallex, I explore this topic of Intuition and the role it has in Conscious Service for the Consciously Serving podcast.

Lucca Hallex

Lucca Hallex works with the process of empowerment and remembering who you are – what you came to our little blue planet to passionately experience, share and create.

She coaches clients to find the source of their power at the very deepest level by using her intuition and encouraging them to use theirs, including running a unique Intuition Incubator to help people learn how to ‘speak intuition’.

Her work is not about ‘business as usual’. She engages at the edge of the current wisdom about ‘work’, where the present and future leaders of the emerging new paradigm are exploring what ‘new’ means for their professional lives and the communities in which they thrive.

Lucca co-creates with change-makers who are pushing boundaries and challenging themselves, who foster change by ‘working at the edge’ of what they know about themselves, how they want to move through the world and what impact they want to have. She builds on their experience and passion, to create a future that is inspiring to get up to each day.

Her clients say that the work truly changes their lives:

  • ‘Working with Lucca has softened my doubt and shored up my courage’
  • ‘Working with her has definitely strengthened my ‘intuitive muscles’. It’s putting a spotlight on a specific situation and gradually pulling it further away to light up the bigger picture’
  • ‘She has a deep respect for her client’s free will without pushing one to do anything’
  • ‘…most precious to me is a deeper listening to what I know to be true’
  • ‘I finally feel like my chess pieces are all on the board aligned properly and the game is ready to commence’

Lucca calls herself a Power Sourcerer – pun intended! This has evolved out her career in both business and personal development, as a facilitator, coach, counselor and psychic. In her free time, she co-hosts a weekly community radio program called Essencetial Conversations – conversations with change-makers about their essence and passion. She believes we are all one and that our differences are what unite and empower us and not what divides or diminish us.

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Women Sleep Less than Men, New Survey Finds

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When it comes to quality of sleep among Americans, men seem to outperform women, a new survey from the Better Sleep Council has found. The male participants of the survey often bragged about getting adequate amounts of sleep, while the women were considerably less likely to get a good night’s rest.

The Sleep Gap between the Sexes

The survey found that a vast majority—84 percent—of female participants found that sleep is important to their health. However, compared to men, the women fell short of getting recommended amounts of sleep each night. The male participants earned a positive 72 percent score for sleeping well at night. This is only slightly above the 70 percent score average American adults of both sexes received from the researchers. Overall, both men and women were lacking enough sleep.

The researchers found that men got better sleep because they tended to engage in more positive sleep habits. More than a third of the male participants slept alone, thus reducing distractions. More men minimized stress levels, followed strict bedtime rituals including on weekends, and didn’t consume caffeinated drinks after lunchtime, leading to overall better sleep than the women.

Women experienced considerable barriers to uninterrupted sleep—mainly their loved ones. Women were more likely than men to let kids or pets sleep in their beds. Such distraction-causing bedtime habits caused women to miss sleep more. Women were also considerably more likely to have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep.

Mounting Evidence for a Sleep Epidemic among Women

Other surveys have also found women to lack more sleep than men. A 2007 poll by the National Sleep Foundation found that women are more likely than men to suffer from sleep disorders. Women with children are often the last to go to bed at night, resulting in less sleep.

Both men and women require at least 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night, according to guidelines set by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. Sleep deprivation is linked to a number of adverse health conditions among both sexes, including increased risk for heart disease, obesity, diabetes, cancer, Alzheimer’s, and mood disorders like anxiety.

A study of 71,000 female nurses who regularly got less than 5 hours of sleep at night found that the sleep-deprived women were more likely to develop diabetes and cardiovascular problems compared to those who slept 8 hours a night. Women who are most likely to lose sleep were corporate women, who worked long hours at the office and commuted a lot, often losing out on sleep in the process. It’s estimated that more than a third of American working women are seriously sleep-deprived.

Why Women Sleep Less

Scientific research indicates several reasons why women lack sleep compared to men. As mentioned above, lifestyle is a major contributing factor. Women often work long hours and when they come home, they are tasked with looking after children. Working mothers don’t go to sleep until their children are asleep and the school bags for the following day are packed. Women prioritize the needs of the family over their individual need to sleep well.

Other biological factors may also play a role. Female sex hormones tune body clocks to wake up earlier compared to men. The menstrual cycle can also play a role, particularly menopause. Pregnant women experience sleep disturbances, which can continue even after the baby is born (mostly because of the crying baby).

Certain diseases, such as restless leg syndrome, arthritis, fibromyalgia, and obstructive sleep apnea, can keep women awake at night as well. Another factor is the bed partner, which is likely to be a male who snores and moves around a lot in their sleep.

Medical professionals recommend that women address this issue head-on and actively sleep at least 20 minutes more than the healthy 7 hours a night. Developing good sleeping habits is at the forefront of tackling this particular gender-oriented problem.

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Age-Related Racial Disparities in Suicide Rates Among Youth Ages 5 to 17 Years

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Suicide rates in the United States have traditionally been higher among whites than blacks across all age groups. However, a new study from researchers at Nationwide Children’s Hospital and collaborators published today in JAMA Pediatrics shows that racial disparities in suicide rates are age-related. Specifically, suicide rates for black children aged 5-12 were roughly two times higher than those of similarly-aged white children.

“Our findings provide further evidence of a significant age-related racial disparity in childhood suicide rates and rebut the long-held perception that suicide rates are uniformly higher in whites than blacks in the United States,” says Jeff Bridge, PhD, director of the Center for Suicide Prevention and Research at Nationwide Children’s and lead author of the publication. “The large age-related racial difference in suicide rates did not change during the study period, suggesting that this disparity is not explained by recent events such as the economic recession.”

For older children, the trend reverses back to the national average. For youth aged 13-17 years, suicide was roughly 50 percent lower in black children than in white children.

Researchers obtained data for cases in which suicide was listed as the underlying cause of death among persons aged 5-17 years from 2001-2015 from the Web-based Injury Statistics Query and Reporting System (WISQARSTM) of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

From 2001-2015, for American youth aged 5-17 years, 1,661 suicide deaths in black youths and 13,341 suicide deaths in white youths occurred. During this period, the overall suicide rate was about 42 percent lower in black youth (1.26 per 100,000) than in white youth (2.16 per 100,000). However, age strongly influenced this racial difference, as seen when suicide rates among 5- to 12-year-olds and 13- to 17-year-olds were analyzed.

“The existing literature does not adequately describe the extent of age-related racial disparities in youth suicide, and understanding these differences is essential to creating targeted prevention efforts,” says Dr. Bridge, also a professor of Pediatrics, Psychiatry and Behavioral Health at The Ohio State University College of Medicine.

While the findings highlight an important opportunity for more targeted intervention, these data are limited and cannot point to the potential reasons for the observed differences.

“We lacked information on key factors that may underlie racial differences in suicide, including access to culturally acceptable behavioral health care or the potential role of death due to homicide among older black youth as a competing risk for suicide in this subgroup,” Dr. Bridge elaborates. “Future studies should try to find out whether risk and protective factors identified in studies of primarily white adolescent suicides are associated with suicide in black youth and how these factors change throughout childhood and adolescence.”

“Parents and health providers should be aware of the importance of asking children directly about suicide if there is a concern about a child,” added Dr. Bridge. “Asking children directly about thoughts of suicide will not put the idea in a child’s head or trigger subsequent suicidal behavior.”

Responsible reporting on suicide and the inclusion of stories of hope and resilience can prevent more suicides. You can find more information on safe messaging about suicide here.  If you’re feeling suicidal, please talk to somebody. You can reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text “START” to Crisis Text Line at 741-741.

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Finding Safety at Home: A Guide for Domestic Violence Survivors

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Domestic violence tears lives apart in many ways, but one of the most insidious is the way fear and vulnerability linger long after you’ve left your abuser. After violence has found its way into your home, the place that’s supposed to be your sanctuary, it can be hard to ever feel safe at home again. But you don’t have to live in fear forever. Use these strategies for reclaiming your safety at home.

Move

If you’re still living in the house you shared with your abuser, it may be time to move. Not only does the household painful memories, but living in a home your abuser is familiar with puts you at risk of ongoing harassment. Simply moving to a new house and only sharing your address with trusted individuals can do wonders for your sense of security. If you own your house and need to sell before moving, consider staying with family or friends until you can afford to buy or rent a new home.

Secure Your Personal Items

If you have a car, it is strongly suggested that you have it checked for GPS tracking, as your abuser can put one on your car without your knowledge. If you aren’t sure what to look for, your local police department can check your car to determine if any sort of tracking device has been placed on it. Also, if your abuser gave you a computer or phone, have both of them checked for any device that would allow your abuser to listen in and/or see your emails, texts, etc.

Use an Address Confidentiality Program

If you’re worried about your abuser using public records to find your new address, an Address Confidentiality Program can help. According to the Stalking Resource Center, Address Confidentiality Programsgive victims a legal substitute address (usually a post office box) to use in place of their physical address; this address can be used whenever an address is required by public agencies.” If you need to change your ID then the Social Security Administration can assist you.

Add a Door Chain or Limiter

It’s a scene that gives you nightmares: You open the door after a knock only to have your abuser barge in before you have a chance to react. A security door chain or door limiter is a small, inexpensive measure that gives you the comfort of knowing no one can enter your home unless you want them to. Also, you can buy a doorbell with a video camera system attached to see who is outside your door.

Secure Your Windows

Once your doors are secured, the next area to focus on is the windows. When securing windows, it’s important not to do anything that would prevent a safe escape in the event of a house fire. That means window bars are out, but you can easily upgrade your window locks; Home Depot offers a helpful rundown of various window lock options.

Install Motion-Activated Flood Lights

Motion-activated exterior lighting adds to your sense of security in two ways: It eliminates the ability for anyone to covertly sneak up to your home, and it illuminates your path from vehicle to front door when getting home after dark. Consider adding motion lights near ground-level windows as well.

Install a Security System

Don’t count on physical barriers alone. By installing a security system that monitors both doors and windows, you can rest assured that if someone gains unauthorized entry, the police won’t be far behind. Ensure your security code won’t be easily guessed by your abuser by avoiding important numbers like your birth date, instead choosing a random combination.

Lock Down Your Social Media

Doors and windows aren’t the only way your abuser can infiltrate your home. If you’re still active on social media and posting publicly, your abuser may be able to follow your actions, send harassing messages, and otherwise invade your peace of mind. If you don’t want to delete your social media accounts entirely, you can lock them down by blocking your abuser and your abuser’s family and friends, restricting your post visibility to friends only, declining location tagging, using an alternate name, and limiting the ways people can search for your profile.

If Harassment Continues

Sometimes, despite all the above measures, you may find that your abuser is still harassing and/or stalking you. If this is the case, get a restraining order. You can also change your identity (and your children’s) by going to the Social Security Department. If your abuser is persistent in their harassment or continues to threaten you, you can and should consider moving out of state to a safer location. Be sure to check with an attorney or free legal aid office if you have children to ensure you aren’t breaking any laws should you leave.

The transition from domestic violence victim to domestic violence survivor is both incredibly empowering and fraught with risk and anxiety. Securing your home is just one of the things you can do to take back control after leaving an abusive relationship. However, it’s only one part of the equation. In addition to creating a safe home, seek support, practice self-care, and give yourself time to heal and grieve. It takes time, but you can move on after abuse.

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How to Support Someone Going Through Heroin Detox

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Going through heroin detox can be a grueling experience. Before the individual enters a heroin detox treatment program, they have already started going through some horrible withdrawal symptoms. By the time they are ready to enter a treatment program, their body has endured a tremendous amount of strain and pain, and their psyche has taken a toil making them very vulnerable to relapse if not cared for appropriately.

Not only is their detox treatment vital; so too is the support from their loved ones, and this can be challenging especially for those who don’t understand what heroin is, what it does, and what heroin detox treatments consist of. If you have a loved one who is fighting for his or her life by trying to get off drugs and enter a heroin detox program, you can best support them by understanding what they are going through. Some basic education will help you be a great support system, and help your loved one get back onto a path of normalcy and healthy living.

What does Heroin do to the Human Body?

The impact heroin has on the human body depends on how much is injected, where the drug binds in the body (or brain), how long it sticks, how strong it is, the rate of speed it takes to bind, and what happens afterward. When heroin is used it clings to certain receptors in the brain called mu-opioids. Once it affixes, it activates these receptors causing a massive sensation of pleasure.

The human brain contains naturally produced chemicals called neurotransmitters that fuse receptors that regulate hormone-release and pain. This all takes place in “the reward center” of the brain, where dopamine is released. When natural dopamine is mixed with external opioids like heroin, that high a person experiences is amplified by massive proportions. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, the greatest increase in heroin use is seen in young people aged 18-25. Unfortunately, many young adults can see themselves as invincible and don’t consider the various consequences heroin can have on their health, their life, or on their mortality. When a person takes heroin, their breathing and heart rate slows down–in some cases to the point it can be life-threatening.

What Makes Heroin So Addictive?

Heroin is a very addictive opiate because it actually changes the neurochemical activity in the brain which alters the state of one’s sensation and overall feeling while creating profound degrees of physical dependence and tolerance. Opiates cause pleasure by targeting various regions of the brain and nervous system–giving instant pleasure, both physically and emotionally, on tap. An opioid like heroin alters activity in the limbic system–a part of the brain that controls emotion. Pile this on top of the fact it blocks pain signals being delivered through the spinal cord, and one experiences a state of pleasure that becomes instantly addictive.

Your Loved One’s Behavior is Still Obnoxious after Heroin Use

Supporting a loved one going through heroin detox can be challenging, as much of their bad, obnoxious behavior can still be present. Here are some things to keep in mind: repeated use of heroin causes long-term imbalances that are very difficult to reverse because of the brain’s physiology and physical structure changes.

According to a study on white matter impairment in chronic heroin dependence, W. Li and others discovered that the brain’s white matter deteriorates due to heroin use, and that one’s decision-making abilities, the capacity to regulate behavior, and how one responds to stress is affected. Therefore, if your loved one is having massive mood-swings, says inappropriate things, and acts irrationally, know that the aftermath of this drug has simply dug its talons this deep into the user, and now it is up to a heroin detox treatment to gently and lovingly reverse as much damage done as possible by bringing the person back to their normal self.

Give Support by Finding a Heroin Detox Treatment Program

One way you can support your loved one going through heroin detox treatment is to do some research in looking for the best programs available. You simply can’t lock someone in a room and slide food and water through a window, as movies like ‘Trainspotting’ would like you to think. Coming off heroin can be life-threatening and extremely painful, which is why finding the best heroin detox program is vital to your loved one’s ability to have a happy and healthy future.

Heroin detoxification treatment centers use specific drugs to shorten the timespan of opiate withdrawal syndrome. Even with these drugs, patients still experience various degrees of pain, and the road to recovery is still harsh and often hard for loved ones to witness. When looking for various heroin detox treatment centers, here are some questions worth asking:

  • What accreditations does the facility hold?
  • Are medical resources immediately available?
  • Is there a pre-admission evaluation focused on protocol?
  • What are the safety standards and guidelines?
  • Are there multiple detox options to accommodate a variety of patients?
  • How long is the inpatient care program?
  • What is the post-detox recovery care?
  • What procedures are used to make the detox more humane?

By investigating programs and learning more about why they are successful, you can be of tremendous support to your loved one by helping him or her get on the best path to a full recovery.

More Ways to Support Someone through Heroin Detox

Love and ongoing support is crucial to recovery. Here are some ways in which you can show your loving support through their journey to a bright, promising future:

Write a Letter – Writing a letter to someone expressing your love and support is good therapy for you, and it is an ideal thing for the patient to have because they can look at it whenever they need some additional motivation to get them through hard times. If the person has wronged you, avoid being judgemental or calling them out in the letter. There will be a time to confront them, but when they are focused on detoxing is not the ideal moment. Once the detox treatment is complete and the person enters the next phase of recovery, you could write a second letter praising them for making it through the detox, and then confront them on the pain they caused. This way they can deal with the reality of what they did in the next step of their treatment plan which often involves coming to terms with the past.

Build Confidence – Be their cheerleader. Let them know how you have always admired them, acknowledge what they are going through must be very difficult, and let them know you recognize their bravery for undertaking the journey. Saying things like, “I am proud of you for embarking this huge step” and “I respect you for wanting to get clean and be the best version of you” will help empower and drive the person to keep up the good work.

Trophy – A trophy is given to someone to acknowledge and honor them for being victorious. You don’t have to go out and get an actual trophy; instead, create your own “trophy concept” by giving the person a special gift as a way to honor them for being victorious thus far in their recovery. For example, if the person loves to write you could get them a fancy pen with an engraved message on it, and a leather-bound journal. Tell them the pen is their trophy for completing phase one of a very challenging task, and the journal is their platform for writing reflections, celebrating the little victories they experience every day, and writing down their game plan and goals for a fruitful future.

Emphasize Self-Care – In many cases people going through certain phases of heroin detox treatment will be so haunted by the pain they caused loved ones that they don’t focus on themselves. Let your loved one know that self-care is crucial to a full recovery. Let them know that putting themselves first is not at all selfish, but healthy and necessary to their recovery. Let them know you are there to give support, but they need to support themselves at the same time.

Supporting a loved one going through heroin detox treatment means you also need to support yourself. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, eating right, or taking care of your own needs, you won’t be at full strength to be a strong pillar of support. Also, if you are worn down your loved one will likely notice, and enhanced guilt on their part may surface thus slowing down their recovery.

Compassion, forgiveness, and understanding–these are the tenants of supporting a loved one going through heroin withdrawal, and these core components can also be used to help you get through the emotional rollercoaster of watching from the sidelines.

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Mental Health

Life After Addiction Treatment: How to Fill the Void During Recovery

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The first year of recovery is difficult to manage. Triggers lie everywhere and applying the skills you learned in rehab is easier said than done. When a recovering addict first begins life after their addiction, they may discover a void left from their past life. Whether the void is their past experiences, low self-esteem, or avoiding bad feelings, addicts typically used drugs or alcohol to fill that void.

Now in the absence of those unhealthy “coping” mechanisms, addicts now face those voids alone. Maintaining recovery requires an addict to learn how to fill their life with positive things and not go backwards into their old ways.

The certified counselors at Cold Creek Behavioral Health have put together a list of recovery and coping skills in handling life after treatment.

Recovery Skills

Rehab isn’t the end of addiction, it’s only the beginning of recovery. Once an addict leaves treatment they soon realize that life and all the factors that brought them into their addiction are still there waiting for them.

Although you can’t change everything, you can learn how to handle things better and develop behaviors that’ll help you maintain your recovery.

Learn to Mourn

As strange as it may sound, it’s important to begin your recovery by first mourning the loss of your past addiction. Since your past addiction had been with you for a very long time, it’s important you mourn the loss of it. This can require not only giving up the addiction but saying goodbye to bad friends, places, and the unhealthy habits that led to your addiction. From where you used to hang out to who you were with regularly and on, it determined a lot of your day.

It’s important you recognize that loss but also recognize that although it was something you did—it didn’t define you. Recognize that loss and move past it. Then you can move on and maintain your recovery day to day, drug-free.

Avoid High-Risk Situations and Triggers

Some common high-risk situations are described in treatment as the acronym, HALT:

  • Hungry
  • Angry
  • Lonely
  • Tired

Recognize Your Emotions

Of course, you can’t always avoid HALT situations, but you can be more aware of them. If you take better care of yourself, you’ll be able to recognize your emotions before they send you spiraling. By develop healthy habits, use support groups, and more, many of these situations will be far and few between, rather than consistent occurrences.

Steer Clear of Boredom

For an addict, feeling a sense of boredom is dangerous. This is because it allows your mind to wander and not stay focused on maintaining your recovery. This can even go as far as triggering a relapse. For that reason, it’s important that you stay busy.

Fill your day with activities you enjoy. Find new interests. Keep busy. This will keep you busy and far from the feeling of boredom. It also helps you develop healthy habits. Remember: a routine is critical to helping you stay abstinent.

Fill Your Life with People and Love

A great way to start filling that void is to re-establish old friendships that may have been lost on your path of addiction. Surround yourself with supportive people both help you and make you feel cared for and loved.

Recovery is also a good time for an addict to mend fences with family and friends. Doing this will also help make you feel better about yourself because you’ll be righting your wrongs and maintaining your recovery.

Healthy Habits and Activities Are Crucial

There are many activities you can pick up on the road to recovery, as well. Some of these healthy activities include:

  • Making a to-do list so you can feel a sense of accomplishment as you mark things off.
  • Relaxing and trying to stay stress free
  • Playing video games to relax your mind
  • Reading
  • Doing crossword puzzles
  • Start becoming more proactive by starting a blog or doing volunteer work
  • Play sports
  • Take a class
  • Learn to coo

Other Coping Skills

Some other skills that are very helpful in maintaining your recovery include:

Stress Management

Learn how to handle your stress in healthy ways. Use tools listed above to help tackle your stress one day at a time.

Honesty

Make sure that you are completely honest with yourself and others. One of the key components of drug addiction is creating a culture of deceit—combat that with complete honesty and integrity.

Therapy

Maintaining a regular schedule of therapy sessions can really improve your chances of staying clean—especially in the first year.

No matter what you do, staying busy with some type of constructive activity and surrounding yourself with healthy relationships is a key component to staying sober and not letting old triggers creep back into your life. Maintain realistic expectations and remember: getting and staying sober is a process, a marathon; it’s not a sprint.

How to Prevent an Addict from Relapsing

Preventing a relapse is typically harder than it was getting sober. The reason for this is because maintaining recovery spans a lifetime. There is always a chance that a trigger lies right around the next corner and without support in defeating that trigger, an addict can start their former patterns all over again.

Tips for Helping a Recovering Addict

Fortunately, there are a number of ways to help. For example:

Finding a support group where the addict feels comfortable, can also provide a great deal of help. Being part of a group where members have gone through the same trials and tribulations helps an addict feel less alone in his or her struggle, and more like there is somewhere he or she belongs.

Family support is also of the utmost importance. The family structure is one of the key ways recovering addicts maintain their recovery, but it can also be a trigger source for some. Making sure you’re being as supportive as possible can help them immensely.

Just being around for non-judgmental listening can help tremendously. If an addict feels they can go to you for help when they are feeling triggered will help them in more ways than one and usually helps avert any crisis.

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